Pulling The Pins
I’ve been pulling the pins
From every grenade
Quickly throwing them in
Like they’re burning with rage
As we’ve been here before
And we’ve read all the lines
Trapped within our own walls
Still too close and confined
So we’ll spew all the venom
And we’ll end it again
But when morning comes
We’ll fall again for the pain
I would follow you through fever
I would breathe away the smoke
Because you made me a believer
When all I could do was choke
Your eyes burn through me like a flame against ice. I wonder if you’ll ever be able to see me as I truly am, rather than how you wish I was. You burn holes through me and my soul, and it’s only so long until these frayed edges become tears. Your eyes, like your expectations, will be the death if me. So, I’ll die for you, if that’s what you really want.
I can feel myself crumbling and breaking at the edges. I’m trying to keep it all together, but you’re not helping anymore. You’re gone, and you left me here in the dust. I’m falling apart, heart first, and I have no idea what to do. I’m just becoming the dust I stand in, and I’m slowly drifting away.”
— Save The World With Words
You used to tell me it would be okay. You used to tell me not to cry. But, somehow over time you lost your way. You became this constant fret and gloom within my life. You are the reason I sought refuge in the darkness. You are the reason the shadows became my friends and the pain became my escape. You are the reason I still grit my teeth and close my eyes tight. There was a time when you were my father. You’re nothing now, not to me. You’re nothing.
Writing Collaboratively - A Plan
Really intrigued by the idea of writing a book collaboratively with other writers. A lot of trust would be required, but the more the merrier, right?! I have a couple ideas I’d love to get off the ground and I feel like writing them collaboratively with others could really work!
If anyone who would be at all interested in this happens to stumble across this post please let me know. If we could actually pull something like this off we could create something awesome, and I feel like we’d be multiplying our chances of success!
You won’t be committing to anything by simply showing your interest. So, come on, let’s talk.
To me you were like the sun, in so many ways. At the best of times I felt like I orbited you, as if you had this pull on me, an all encompassing force that I could never escape. But, I was happy to be your Earth. I was happy to be your slave day and night, always following wherever you went. At the worst of times I felt as though looking at you directly could have disastrous consequences. I felt as if you’d burn away my eyes and my heart all at once. You were too perfect, and you shone too brightly for me to bear. Just being near to you at times damaged me more than you’d ever be aware. You scorched down my walls and you left me defenceless, right under your spotlight.
You always said you didn’t need saving, like you thought it was something to be ashamed of. But I knew you did. You needed saving not from the blade, or the darkness, but from yourself. You were always your own worst enemy - you tore yourself down whilst pushing everyone else away. Yet, you couldn’t see it. You could never see what you were doing to yourself. You were as difficult to save as you were to love, but even with that being true, you were always even more difficult to hate. I wanted to hate you. I wanted to leave you to save yourself for once. But I never could. I never could.
I just felt a little like I wasn’t meant for the world, not at that time anyway. It wasn’t anyone’s fault, it was just that nothing ever felt easy or right. I didn’t feel like life should be like that. I didn’t feel like it should all be so difficult and hopeless. I didn’t want anyone to feel guilty, just like I didn’t want any of them to feel they had to mourn anymore than seemed socially appropriate. I just wanted to fade away, quietly and unremarkably - much like how I’d always lived.